by Marwa Hijazi
In
the springtime, grass cloaks the tree roots like skin shrouds veins. An-Nur
watches the emerald blades flinch beneath the cool breeze. The end of her long,
silver veil flutters and ripples in the wind.
A dagger is plunged into her breast.
A hot pool of
blood oozes, staining her pale brown dress.
A
chorus of warbling birds cuts through the air. An-Nur lifts her bowed head towards
the curling ocean, peering past the clusters of trees and over the cliffside.
The sun begins to crawl over the horizon, arms stretched out in rays to split
the darkness of the sky.
There’s a torrential whooshing in
her skull. A drum thumps in her chest.
An-Nur begins to hum a prayer to greet
her goddess; a low, vibrating note that sits in her throat. She fidgets with
her prayer beads; a set of small, glass spheres that make a light, tinkling
noise as they slide against one another. From the beads hangs her sacred symbol–
Vitath’s symbol.
An-Nur untangles the string of beads from her wrist
and re-wraps them along the gaps between her fingers. She lays the wooden
symbol in the middle of her palm, tracing the intricate sun etchings with her
thumb.
Her gaze finds the ocean again, where
brilliant rays make the waters glitter as they steep the earth in light and
warmth.
Warmth.
An-Nur reaches for the hilt. She
tugs. The dagger pulls free.
She
doesn’t hear the squelching of her flesh over the rhythmic pounding in her
head.
Her
body becomes her heartbeat.
An unbidden thought cleaves An-Nur’s
focus on her prayer: warmth has a face. A disarming smile, a scar on the cleft
of his chin, and dark, attentive eyes.
Warmth has a name.
Kareem.
An-Nur’s meditative hum wavers as an
invisible fist tightens around her throat.
She wanders to a time where she still
memorises the scars on Kareem’s brown skin, to where they hide hysterical
laughs beneath each other’s hands to remain quiet for their sleeping child.
Their daughter. Silem.
An-Nur grabs the attacker by his jerkin.
She sinks the
dagger into his temple.
His jaw
slackens. His eyes roll backwards.
An-Nur’s prayer falters as she chases the
echoes of Silem’s laughter. The warm beads between An-Nur’s fingers become
Silem’s curly hair; stubborn and tangled as she weaves them into a braid.
They keep An-Nur safe– keep their home
warm.
She
clings onto the corpse as she surges towards the crowd of attackers– all
wearing black uniforms that conceal everything but their eyes, making them
blend into the night.
No. No, it isn’t warm.
It’s hot. Blistering, scorching,
scalding, all-consuming.
Fire.
Fire that heaves like a greedy spirit,
that climbs the ceiling of An-Nur’s cottage and curls over the floorboards.
Arrows fly into
An-Nur’s human shield.
She lifts a hand
to summon a sphere of light and lobs it towards the line-up of soldiers.
The light splits
off into jagged, amber rays.
It tears limbs
from bodies.
The flames cloud An-Nur’s mind, as it
always does. It seeps into the gaps of her memories from that night
until only sweltering heat remains. Why can’t she remember?
She desperately searches the flames for lost
memories until, once more, she’s on a field that was once green– peering towards
the horror awaiting her.
Two burning stakes. Two bodies.
An-Nur is caught
in a flurrying vision of bodies dropping around her, until her hands are wrapped
around a man’s neck.
She
doesn’t see his eyes bulge through her tears.
“Priestess An-Nur?”
The voice grabs her like thousands of
desperate hands, hauling her from her misery.
An-Nur’s eyes snap open. Vall kneels
before her; black hair tied up to expose her freckled cheeks and doe-like eyes.
“Vall?” An-Nur’s voice wobbles. “What’s
wrong?”
“It’s Priestess Haara,” the young girl
replies quietly, wringing her hands. “She’s had a fit again.”
She raises her hands to a figure who
swings their sword in an arc.
Twin beams of
light emerge from An-Nur’s palms, searing into their eyes.
An-Nur releases her sacred symbol from a
clenching fist. The symbol of Vitath is now indented into her reddened skin.
The symbol of life.
They die with their battle cry.
Behind her, an
enraged woman screams.
An-Nur turns and
shoots an arm out to grip her by her jaw.
Her head throbs– as it always does at the
thought of Kareem and Silem. Swallowing the pain, An-Nur nods to Vall, gathers
her robes, and stands. The young girl takes off up the
hill.
An-Nur glances back to where she had
knelt on the grass, guilt curling in her stomach. Another morning prayer
disrupted by grief.
Head bowed, she exits the garden. She follows
the cobblestone path winding up to the Church, dodging the small tufts of white
flowers that emerge from the cracks in the stone.
Light bursts from An-Nur’s hand. The
woman’s head explodes.
Blood spatters
onto An-Nur’s face.
To An-Nur’s left, in the near distance,
the Palace of Semetre’s golden domes flash unabashedly in the wake of the
sunrise. She climbs a set of stone steps and approaches the Church’s ivory
doors.
An-Nur’s heart staggers as she watches a
crowd of anxious-looking church visitors being urged outside by a handful of
priestesses. One of them, Priestess Carinth, stands by one of the open doors,
scanning the crowd.
When the young woman meets An-Nur’s eyes,
relief floods her face.
An-Nur turns to the herd of attackers.
There are at least fifty.
More file out
from the woods.
Carinth gives a weak nod to An-Nur, who greets
her before stepping into the familiar ivory hall– complete with fluted pillars and
a vaulted ceiling, paired with golden arches and a glittering image of Vitath, her
arms outstretched.
Daylight catches on the floor-to-ceiling
strips of stained-glass windows, projecting yellow hues and geometric images of
the sun onto the Church floor.
An-Nur finds a swarm of hushed priests
and priestesses gathered at the church’s centre.
A familiar scream pierces the silence. The
entire room seems to jolt, and gasps reverberate throughout the hall. An-Nur’s
blood is spiked with a coldness. Another mournful shriek compels her into
motion despite the pain of her tightening chest.
It isn’t An-Nur’s intention to run.
She moves towards the sea of grey garments,
and someone turns at the sound of her approach.
Lios’ watery eyes find hers, and An-Nur
watches as he runs his hand over his wispy beard. Clearing his throat, he
demands the crowd take their leave.
She will shower
them with their blood. Their flesh will melt into the earth.
The sound of shuffling feet and swishing
robes follow. An-Nur focuses on anything but the eyes that are on her. She
clutches her warm prayer beads and kisses her sacred symbol.
Many priestesses nod to An-Nur as they
file out of the Church. Some touch her shoulder as they pass, murmuring
prayers.
They will not
forget their pain– not over a thousand lifetimes.
“Priestess Haara was about to lead
congregation,” Lios whispers tiredly. “She insisted that she was feeling better
after last week, when you last helped her.”
As the crowd clears, An-Nur’s eyes find a
trembling figure kneeling on the floor, hunched over to sob into her chest.
An-Nur can’t help but notice that the ceremonial robes are too big on Priestess
Haara. Or maybe she’s too small.
The elderly woman’s arms are restrained by two
struggling Priests. An-Nur notes the blood beneath her broken fingernails.
The sight is awful. It reconjures a
familiar image of An-Nur, watching herself from above as she lay across the remains
of her family; attempting to breathe life into them again by invoking their
names, over and over.
For Kareem. For Silem.
“An-Nur,” Lios prompts.
The priestess blinks, recalling where she
is.
“Priestess Haara?” she whispers gently,
reaching out a hand.
An-Nur raises her arms and bellows
her incantation.
The fire behind
her roars louder.
She sucks in a
deep breath, feeling the flames hurtle towards her in a torrent of aggression.
Haara’s head tips back. Her curtain of
grey hair parts, revealing the scratch marks that had cut a bloody path down
her cheeks. The blood mixes with the tears that pour from her milky white eyes.
An-Nur watches her lips as she hisses something.
She kneels before the woman, taking her
red, clammy hands from the grips of the priests.
Haara continues to blubber. “…Watcher
of Dawn….Bringer of Light…the King is dead…Oh Vitath, have mercy…”
An-Nur draws a hand to the woman’s
bloodied cheek, hushing her.
Fire
bends to her will, arcing in great waves that brighten the twilight sky.
She doesn’t need to search Haara’s mind
to know the image that haunts her. A year ago, the old Priestess had witnessed the
King of Semetre die in this hall. As he had knelt before Vitath’s altar, he was
obliterated by a wrathful explosion of Vitath’s pure Light; an unperceivable,
divine force. Everyone had looked away, except for Haara. Yet, Vitath had
spared her.
An-Nur
can’t revel in the pained screeches that come.
Her
eyes are drawn back to the stakes that burn in the field.
An-Nur’s stomach squeezes as Haara
collapses into a fit of sobs again. She lets go of Haara’s hands and catches
her face.
“Breathe…” An-Nur encourages softly.
Haara’s white eyes anxiously search the air.
An-Nur moves the thumb of her right hand
from Haara’s cheek to the centre of her forehead.
Deepening her breathing, she searches for
the light that lies dormant in her chest. An-Nur whispers her incantation, and
the warmth swells upwards. She straightens her arm to make an easy path for the
spell to travel.
Phantom-like, An-Nur weaves between
the corpses, trailing gore.
She
occasionally steps on limp arms and hands.
Some
fingers snap beneath her boots.
Behind
An-Nur, her burning home continues to collapse.
She
can’t turn to watch.
Focusing on the point of contact between
her skin and Haara’s, An-Nur exhales. A vibrating beam of heat shoots down her
arm and to her fingers.
She wanders to the corpses that
still burn, to her husband and daughter.
An-Nur doesn’t
fall to her knees. Her body would break.
An orange glow ripples around Haara’s
forehead, turning the skin slightly translucent and illuminating the thin, blue
veins along her temples.
The blind woman’s brow immediately
relaxes and she slumps forward onto An-Nur’s shoulder, breathing evenly.
The priestess strokes Haara’s hair. “You’re
safe…”
She raises a
shaking hand.
Her voice emits
from outside of her body as she wills the flames to extinguish.
An-Nur closes her eyes. She reaches for
Vitath’s Light that now pulses around her; the familiar warmth that envelops
her every day.
An-Nur prays to understand why. Why couldn’t
she reach her family sooner on that night? Why couldn’t she stop it? And why couldn’t
she remember the moments between her discovery of her burning home, and
when she lay wailing upon the scorched earth at sunrise?
Exhaustion and darkness consume An-Nur’s
vision.
She
collapses onto the field.
Shakily, An-Nur lifts her sacred symbol
to her lips. Warmth encircles her.
This is the way that Vitath works: where
something is given, something must be taken.
The thought brings no bitterness, no
disdain. It simply is.
It may be a mercy that An-Nur cannot
recall that entire night. Perhaps, the veil between her and the truth is better
left unparted.
This time, An-Nur can keep the tears at
bay as she kisses Haara’s forehead.
“I’m
here…”
When An-Nur
wakes, the sun is rising; ringed by the fire and black smoke that still curls
from the cottage’s thatched roof.
She crawls to the stakes, spitting prayers and pleads,
and grips the smouldering wood for support as she stands.
Bones. Only bones remain.
Fire
and daylight flank her hunched silhouette; like an explosion of waves that
divide as they crash into a rock face. Like wings.
She slumps to the ground, hands curling around the grass
blackened by blood.
For the first time in her life, An-Nur curses the
sunrise.
Based on an RPG world created by
Mitchell Togher